March 14

4 comments

Best Lesbian dating sites and apps in 2020

By Colette Murphy

March 14, 2020


My picks for the best lesbian dating sites & apps

You might be surprised to find that my top lesbian website recommendation is not solely geared to lesbians. I think it's really encouraging that mainstream dating website cater really well to sections of the LBTQ+ community. If you're looking for a safer and more real experience, try out one of my recommended dating sites.

Best lesbian dating apps and sites list

The best lesbian dating apps and sites are:

  • Her
  • Bumble
  • OkCupid
  • Tinder
  • The League
  • Clover
  • Elite Singles
  • Pink Cupid
  • eHarmony
  • Match.com
  • Fem

The best lesbian dating sites and apps are:

  1. Her
  2. Bumble
  3. OkCupid
  4. Tinder
  5. The League
  6. Clover
  7. Elite Singles
  8. Pink Cupid
  9. eHarmony
  10. Match.com
  11. Fem

The best lesbian dating apps are:

Dating appCostScore
Herfree9.9
Bumblefree9.6
OkCupidfree9.3
Tinderfree9
The Leaguefree8.7
Cloverfree8.4
Elite Singles$10.009.2
Pink Cupidfree7.8
eHarmonyfree8.8
Match.com$5.997.2
Femfree6.9

#1 dating site for lesbians - eHarmony

eharmony lesbian page

Important points:

  • 30 million members in the US alone
  • 16 million active weekly
  • Majority are aged between 25-35
  • Members from all over the world
  • Free to join
  • Data says majority of members are well educated and have a stable life

My first choice is actually an easy one, the most professional, trusted and highest percentage of sucess is eHarmony. I have tested every platform on this list and the ease of use combined with the high number of active members makes it a good place to potentially find a match. Although its not made exclusively for lesbians they do have one of the highest number of lesbian members out of any platform I have tested.

eHarmony is a website that most of those in the online dating scene will already have heard of. eHarmony is infamous for its initial personality profile, and extensive document and questionnaire that each new member needs to fill in before they can start finding matches. However, this personality profile is actually one of eHarmony’s greatest strengths and is a big part of the reason that it is considered such a great choice for women, especially those who are minded to one day marry.

Even though it's not primarily for lesbian dating it is still regarded as one of the most respected and reliable names in the whole online dating space. Since it first opened its doors more than a decade ago, eHarmony has refined its matchmaking system and is now in control of one of the most advanced matchmaking algorithms the world has ever seen. It takes a bit more time to create a profile and fill in the questionnaire for eHarmony than it does with many of their competitors, but fear not this is time well spent and maximizes your chances of finding love.

eHarmony is one of the few online dating platforms that is consistently rated very highly amongst its female users. This is clearly a platform that has been built with women in mind, including lesbians.

Pros

  • A huge number of active users from both straight and gay communities.
  • Matching is based on personality traits, identified via personality tests and questionnaires
  • The time-consuming but simple to complete registration form is structured to be thorough; enough so to make the user’s personality visible
  • The eHarmony interface is easy to use and very smart at the same time. Their clever system has been perfected over the last decade and its actually frustrating when you try another platform after.

Cons

  • You can’t send messages without paying for a subscription

#2 dating site for lesbians - Pink Cupid

Important points:

  • Over 300k members in the US alone
  • 28, 000 active monthly memebers
  • Comes with an app
  • Millions of members worldwide
  • profiles are detailed, verified with min 3 photos
  • 5-10 min sign up process

My number 2 recommendation is currently Pink Cupid, it's a premium service that has nearly 15 years experience and matched thousands of lesbian couples. 

They have a proven track record of being successful and are very well trusted in the online dating space. They have an advanced algorithm to not only match you with good potential partners, but to keep spammers and cat-fishers away (to verify your profile you not only need to verifiy your email but you need to upload valid ID). You will not see the spam you see on tinder here. This is a real service and you know it as soon as you sign up.

Profiles are quite detailed, each profile needs a minimum of three photos which i liked. Everyone can view all profile photos in full size too which I am a huge fan of. Another feature I liked is that you can see the last time anyone was active (so you're not sending messages to someone who hasn't logged in in two years).

With the free plan you get the app, profile creation, upload photos, basic matching and communicate with premium members. When you pay for premium you get loads more features like chatting with all members, no ads, browse anonymously, custom search filters and a whole host of other things.

With a proven track record for matching lesbians since 2006, Pink Cupid wins second place.

#3 dating site for lesbians - Elitesingles.com

Important points:

  • Over 80% of members are university graduates
  • 35+ is the recommended age category
  • It takes 35 minutes to sign up
  • It is free to sign up
  • Average 3-7 matches daily
  • well designed app

Elitesingles.com is my second choice, again not a platformed aimed exclusively at lesbians, but that's fine, trust me, there is a massive amount of lesbians on the platform. Again they have been around a long time they have developed a platform that is safe, secure, that has advanced algorithms for matching and safe from cat-fishing and spam.

It is designed to be a premier dating platform for professionals so it is aimed at lesbians who are career driven and are looking to meet like minded people. Everything about the platform is career driven so in the questionnaire you will be asked if you are a leader or a follower and if you are a natural problem solver.

The questionnaire will take you roughly half an hour so its not a super quick sign up process but the upside is that the platform will have more data to match you on. If you're serious about online dating you shouldn't be put off by a long questionnaire, i feel when it comes to online dating you usually get out of it what you put into it so don't be afraid to put in some effort.

Anyway Elitesingles.com gets the seal of approval from me and comes in third place.

BONUS: Best for Lesbian Hook-ups - LesbianPersonals

Important points:

  • Heavy sexual content
  • Get to know your potential partner via detailed user profiles
  • In-site Instant Messenger service
  • Two-way webcam for sexy video chat
  • Great for lesbian couples seeking a unicorn
  • Perform basic searches for free

Lesbian Personals says it’s not your average lesbian dating site. We’d have to agree, as it offers plenty of great features for sexy women looking to hook up with a hot single woman in their hometown, or anywhere they happen to be visiting.

Make no mistake, although Lesbian Personals lets you scroll through detailed user profiles in their search for Ms. Right, it tends to attract hot, sexy singles looking for more casual and erotically charged dates. This is why we rate it highly as the top hookup site for lesbian singles. In particular, lesbian couples looking for a unicorn to join a sexy threesome frequent this site. If you want to push your boundaries a bit and you firmly believe it’s good to share, Lesbian Personals is a good place to start.

Be aware that the sex-focus of the site is apparent from the moment you join. Site users have no problem displaying their assets in profile pictures, which is a bonus if you want to see the goods before you meet up!

Find out what other users think is “hot” and watch live webcams if you’re willing to pay extra. Other interesting features available include user blogs, contests, and groups.

You can search for women online in your area, but the site’s algorithm does tend to return results much farther away than your search criteria.

Perform a basic search for free, but if you want to view the full profile of a user, a paid membership is needed. There are different memberships available, plus profile enhancements if you want to access adult movies or ensure your profile stands out.

We think Lesbian Personals is great for sexy hook-ups, but if you’re looking for love, try a different site.

Pros

  • Detailed user profiles
  • Web-cam available
  • Cheap to join
  • Great response rates
  • Has a good app

Cons

  • The site is linked to other dating sites, so some of the users are looking to connect with men as well as women
  • Beware of the automatic billing feature
  • The T&Cs say the site can charge a maintenance fee if you’re not an active member
  • The algorithm is a bit hit and miss on a user’s geographical location – “nearby” means in your State

#1 dating app for lesbians - HER

HER is an award-winning social media and dating app that lets you meet girls who like girls. It’s free to download and use and is specifically made for meeting both prospective love interests and new friends.

The good: It’s designed for gay women and it’s for meeting friends too. The app weeds out male scammers, to provide users with the best experience.

The bad: There have been a few complaints that it’s too much of an app for relationships.

Apps like Bumble and Tinder say that they are for all sexual orientations, so many gay women wonder why they’re still giving you male matches or prospects when they have checked the box to say that they’re only looking for girls. Swiping through everybody is far too much hard work, and it needn't be like that. HER claims to be the ‘app that introduces you to every girl you’ve ever wanted to meet’ and is an award-winning combination of both dating and social media where you can meet girls you know are girls. It’s designed solely for lesbian, bisexual, and queer women and the best part? It was created by lesbians, for lesbians.

HER has a minimal layout that encourages users to engage with each other. And unlike many other dating sites that have you fill out tons of details it only asks for a Facebook signup and minimal details about yourself, so that if you want to learn more about another person, you’ll need to ask. Rather than being shown one profile at a time, you’re shown a collage of nearby women to look through.

#2 dating app for lesbians - Fem:

Fem encourages users to make a video profile to introduce themselves, leading to more personal connections from the start and weeding out the catfishes.

The good: It’s free, it encourages video to prevent catfishing, and has a cool ‘rooms’ feature.

The bad: It’s still growing, so it doesn’t have a large user base yet.

Being catfished is one of the most common online dating horror stories, but it’s particularly an issue for lesbians, who have to deal with creepy men trying to pretend that they are women. Ugh. Fem doesn’t just require Facebook approval as a way to discourage the creepy men but also takes it one step further with the unique route of posting a video profile instead of just photographs.

Since some users might be shy about posting a video; Fem doesn’t require it - but many users do take advantage of the feature because, let’s face it, it’s nice to see a video of somebody and hear their voice right off the bat.

Not Available for iPhone

#3 dating app for lesbians - Hinge:

Hinge is an app that refers to itself as ‘the relationship app’ or as people often call it, the ‘anti-Tinder’. It’s been around for a while and promises to help you get to know the other person more deeply than any other app has attempted to.

The good: It only matches you with friends and friends of friends, which is great if you’re sick of swiping through strangers. Plus, it’s free to use.

The bad: It only offers M/F gender choices; not very non-binary friendly.

Hinge is an app that’s been around for a while, but a recent update with gorgeous features has sprung it to the top of the list for young people both straight and gay. Instead of matching you with people based solely by your location, Hinge looks through your Facebook and only matches you with friends and friends or friends; great for if you’re sick and tired of meeting weird randoms online who aren’t actually who they say they are. In terms of use, it works similar to Tinder with scrolling and swiping.

Lesbian Dating site FAQs

What are the best lesbian dating sites?

I have spent quite a while testing many different lesbian dating platforms and I have narrowed the list down to 5. Pink Cupid comes in first place but I encourage you to read my entire breakdown here.

Is there a lesbian equivalent to Grindr?

Apparently the Scissr dating app serves a similar purpose for lesbians but if you know me I would never recommend a mindless app where you will likely face a lot of spam, cat fishing, danger and if you manage to avoid all that then you will likely just waste your time. I advise you to invest in a safer app that will help you find more meaningful partners. Read my full breakdown here.

Are lesbian dating sites free?

You can find free platforms but I would always recommend against them unless you just want to dip your toe and see whats it like. But be warned you must navigate around fake bot accounts and cat fishers because free platforms do not regulate who can sign up. That's why I wrote the ultimate guide to lesbian dating sites.

Colette Murphy

About the author

Hi, my name is Collette, I was born, raised in New York where i still currently live. I am currently in my mid thirties and after changed career multiple times and struggling to find a passion I decided to leave the career based live behind and start an online community for like minded people. This community is a safe place for women and like minded men who want to steer clear of misogyny, sexism, degrading comments and racism. I hope you enjoy your stay.

  • Hey Collette,
    I can soooo relate to changing careers multiple times when struggling to find your passion–good for you for not “selling out!” Thanks for creating this safe space for like-minded, non-judgmental women like myself! So many lesbian dating sites have women who simply don’t know what they want and that makes it hard for those of us who do. I’m looking for a mutually respectful, exclusive long-term relationship (not a “U-Haul” chick), best friend, intelligent, good humored woman who knows who she is and what she wants! Where are these women? I can’t be the only one! Can I? UGH!

    A.

    • Hey Anne, thanks for the compliment. I am happy to be here doing this for the community. I have tested most of the respectable dating platforms out there and eHarmony always seems to have the best experience, they have been around a long time and have consistently reinvested profits in improving their platforms usability and algorithms. I think that’s what it comes down, those two things, use ability and algorithms, they catch spammers and cat fishers and also help with potential matching. If these two things are low quality then you will have less compatible matching and more spammers so for that reason I am always happy to recommend well established platforms that have invested in their programming. Hope this helps, let me know if you have any more questions.

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